As we prepare for the summer soccer season,
here is a primer of the little things we can all do on the sidelines to
make this soccer season more pleasant for all concerned -- most
importantly, for the kids (assembled by Lawrence Fine of
www.finesoccer.com).
Fifteen things to keep in mind while watching from the sidelines this
summer:
1. Let the coaches coach. If you are telling your son or daughter
-- or any other player for that matter -- to do something different from
what their coach is telling them, you create distraction and confusion.
2. It is very unnerving for many young players to try and perform
difficult tasks on the field on the spur of the moment when parents are
yelling at them from the sidelines. Let the kids play. If they have been
well-coached, they should know what to do on the field. If they make a
mistake, chances are they will learn from it.
3. Do not discuss the play of specific young players in front of
other parents. How many times do you hear comments such as, “I don’t
know how that boy made this team.” Or, “she’s just not fast enough.” Too
many parents act as though their child is a ‘star,’ and the problem is
someone else’s kid. Negative comments and attitudes are hurtful and
totally unnecessary and kill parent harmony, which is often essential to
youth team success.
4. Discourage such toxic behavior by listening patiently to any
negative comments that might be made, then addressing issues in a
positive way. Speak to the positive qualities of a player, family or
coach.
5. Do your level best not to complain about your son or
daughter’s coaches to other parents. Once that starts, it is like a
disease that spreads. Before you know it, parents are talking constantly
in a negative way behind a coach’s back. (As an aside, if you have what
you truly feel is a legitimate beef with your child’s coach, either
regarding game strategy or playing time, arrange an appointment to meet
privately, away from a soccer field.)
6. Make positive comments from the sideline. Be
encouraging. Young athletes do not need to be reminded constantly about
their perceived errors or mistakes. Their coaches will instruct them,
either during the game or at half-time, and during practices. You can
often see a young player make that extra effort when they hear
encouraging words from the sideline about their hustle.
7. Avoid making any negative comments about players on the other
team. This should be simple: we are talking about children, not adults
who are being paid to play professionally. Besides being tasteless and
classless, these kinds of comments can be hurtful to the young person
involved and to their family as well
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8. Try to keep interaction with
parents on the other team as healthy and positive as possible. Who’s
kidding whom? You want your child’s team to win. So do they. But that
should not make us take leave of our senses, especially our common
sense. Be courteous ‘till it hurts.
9. Parents on the ‘other’ team are not the enemy. Neither are the
boys or girls on the other team. We should work to check any negative
feelings at the door before we hit the pitch.
10. What is the easiest thing to do in the youth sports world? Criticize
the referees. Don't criticize the referees. Oh, there are times when
calls are missed, absolutely. And that can, unfortunately, directly
affect the outcome of a contest. That said, by and large those who
officiate at youth soccer games are hardly over-compensated, and give it
an honest -- and often quite competent -- effort. At worst, they at
least try to be fair and objective.
11. On that note, outbursts from parents on the sideline made
toward the referees only signal to our own children on the field that
they can blame the refs for anything that goes wrong. Blaming others is
not a formula for success in sports.
12. Yelling out comments such as “Good call, ref” or “Thanks ref”
may only serve to alienate an official. The ref always assumes they made
the proper call, that’s why they made it. Trying to show superficial
support because the call went ‘your’ way is simply annoying to the
officials, and to anyone within earshot.
13. Walking up and down all game long along the sidelines,
following the play, is unnerving to players and totally
unnecessary…particularly so if you are trying to yell out instructions
to various players, including your own son or daughter. It is likely
embarrassing to the player/players involved and simply
counterproductive. If you want to coach, obtain your coaching
certification and then apply for a job.
14. We all feel things and are apt to be tempted to say things in
the ‘heat of the moment’. But we don’t excuse athletes for doing
inappropriate things in the ‘heat of the moment’ (there are penalties,
suspensions, etc.), so we should apply similar standards to our own
sideline behavior. Quickly check yourself and ask: Will I be proud of
what I am about to say or do when I reflect on it tomorrow?
15. The parking lot is not the time to ‘fan the flames.’ Whether
it is a coach’s decision, a referee’s call, a comment that was made, let
it go. Don’t harass the coach, or an official, or a parent on the other
team after the game is over. Go home, relax, and unwind. Talk positively
with your child. The ride home is sometimes as important as the game
itself. Make that time a good memory for your son or daughter by
discussing as many positives as you can about him/her, her coach, her
teammates, etc.
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